Thursday, September 13, 2012

Fervent Seed

As a child I always knew I wanted to be a mommy. Why? I'm not sure. I guess that's what most little girls pretend when they have baby dolls and toy strollers.
For me being a mother of 4 I really do enjoy this calling. I know there's good, bad, and ugly days. But for the most part I love spending time with my kids.

Mason. He's growing into his own young man. Everyday he's learning a little more about himself which is helping him find HIS path. Some days he still needs me (which is nice) but most days I just stand back and watch him. And he just amazes me how mature and responsible he is.

Hailey. She's a carbon copy of me. She's still learning to find her own path. Which is fine. She's still very teachable. And she has such a strong spirit. Not strong-stubborn. But strong- determined. When learning something new I am amazed by how hard she'll keep try without giving up. That strength is something I really admire about her.

Ducati. She's a sweet little girl. Her laugh is infectious. I can't look at her without smiling. Her main goal in her 2 year old life is to play! So when I see her coloring on the walls, chairs, her legs, or my debit card I remind myself that she's found something new and exciting to color.

Lily- She. Is. Confident. Genius Smart. Inventive. Strong-Willed. Perfectionist.
She's a carbon copy of Mike. And she is the one I bump heads with the most. I know I'm arguing with a 3 year old. Not my finest moment. I admit that I forget that she's 3 when she starts reasoning with me. What 3 year old does that? :-)

I can't recall where I heard this or who said it.  I apologize in advance for the paraphrasing but it goes something along the lines....

A man was talking about how easy parenthood was for him and his wife. His children never swayed, rebelled, or misbehaved. They were perfect students. They never went against what they said. Finally someone sitting close to him who heard all this expressed to him that he feels sorry for him. Not pity but sorrow since he was given such an easy child. Because having a difficult child is a blessing from Heavenly Father. He's trusted us with one of his stronger spirits. And Heavenly Father knows that only the elite can handle his stronger ones. So to those parents who had a hard time parenting know that God was with you more. 

I remember the feeling of both guilt and happiness. Strange since it was at the same time.

Lily is such a fervent spirit. 

(definition:
having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling,enthusiasm: example a fervent admirer; a fervent plea. Or hot; burning; glowing) 

I was promised in my patriarchal blessing that I will raise up a fervent seed who will worship the Lord as I do. And I never understood what that meant until now.

Lily is my fervent seed.

She's the one who has an intensity of her spirit. She carries such strong emotions in her little body. I've joked with Mike that she reminds me of Tinker Bell. In the story Tinker Bell can only show 1 emotion at a time since it's so intense for her. I'm pretty sure anyone can testify of this if they have ever experienced a Lily tantrum.

While looking on Pinterest my friend pinned this and it literally made me cry. So I made one for myself.....

This Momma was completely humbled.

I might experience moments of difficulty. But that's OK. Each child is truly a blessing from God. Heavenly Father knows what's best for each of us. And he knew that not only did I need her but she needed me. So to help me know how to be the mother that fits HER needs I called the only person who might have been able to help me- God. After all she's his child before she's mine. He knows her the best. He gave her everything she would ever need already in her spirit. All I have to do is love her and teach her how to use it. My answer was treat her as I would Mike. (She is his mini-me) I needed to give her more patience, compassion, love, excitement, challenges, kindness, and forgiveness (even when she kicks a hole in the wall).

And it's completely changed my relationship with Lily. (Actually it's changed my relationship with all my children.)  And it's so wonderful to say that our relationship has started to mend and grow into what it was suppose to be. An equally cherished relationship.


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