Friday, January 22, 2016

It's My Birthday!!

Yes I made it to another birthday. I'm now 32 year old. It doesn't feel much different than 31. I'll give it a year and see if it grows on me. haha....joke!

For my birthday things really changed. Instead of going out and having tons of fun things were kept simple. So simple that I hardly did anything in hopes to not jeopardize my healing.

I woke up to birthday treats galore.

I gawked and drooled a little bit but all these things needs to be put on hold so we can head to the Provo City Center Temple open house.
I really wanted to attend the open house and with Mike having the day off this seem perfect.

The history of this new temple is that it use to be a tabernacle. But caught fire several years ago. Utah communities were so sad to see it go since it held such rich history. That the following General Conferenance President Monson announces that he was going to rebuild the tabernacle and turn it into a temple. So now there are 2 temples in the small town of Provo. But everyone knows they needed it with the MTC and BYU in the same city. 

At the open house there were areas outside showing the before and after photos of things tabernacle that are now turned into things new for the temple. Like this staircase post. The one on the left is the new one. And the one on the right was from the tabernacle. You can still see the charred pieces from the fire on it. There was other examples too but this one really caught my eye. They are exactly the same. 

Anyways the inside was beautiful. Photography is not allow so I'm just going to describe it best I can. 

There was so much wood. Dark rich wood everywhere. 
Flower printed wall paper. Flower embellishments on wood banisters, door hinges, windows, etc.

There is a spiral staircase that is a tight squeeze but so beautiful. The sun was shining through the windows so the stain glass shined such beautiful colors onto the carpet.

There was a fire exit right in the chapel. Probably where it was located before so my guess is it stays locked so no one enters accidentally. 

The walls and ceilings are painted with such beautiful nature scenes.

There was a grand staircase that was so beautiful that I wanted to slide down the rail. Of course I didn't.

There are a lot of stairs. From the outside it doesn't look that way. But once inside this was the first thing I noticed. I opted out taking the elevators since I would have missed all those tiny details that made this trip amazing. 

Our kids loved seeing the wedding rooms. Each one had a different chandelier inside.

One of the "wedding"/ sealing rooms was so small that it looked like it was a janitors closet before. It maybe fit 4 chairs. We told our kids that even though it's small that big and amazing things will happen in this room.

I was so happy to walk through this new temple. It made me appreciate the gifts that God gives me even more. The gift of recognizing his love. The gift of my forever family. The gift of eternal life. The gift of repentance. And so many more gifts that I left here feeling so much better that I forgot all about my pain. At least for a little while.

At the visitors center area the sister missionaries were taking pictures for those visitors wanting to commemorate their visit. So we got one and of course I'm rocking my brace in it.

So after our amazing tour we headed home and about 15 minutes away from home that's when my pain/discomfort hit. So Mike took my home so I can lay down. This seems to be the only thing that can calm my back's throbbing pain. He took Mason and Hailey to meet their other dad. Lily and Cati waited for the pizza delivery man. And I just ended my day watching Netflix.

My sister-in-law asked me if I was going to celebrate my birthday by doing anything. It sucked saying no. But Mike and I have decided that we're going to re-do our birthday later this summer. Sort of like a 1/2 Birthday Celebration. Mine since I'm stuck in a back brace and Mike's since I was in the ER on his bday. I really know how to celebrate birthdays! :)

Friday, January 15, 2016

3 weeks

It's been 3 weeks since I broke my back and our lives have been interesting.

The first two weeks were rough emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Since I couldn't go down our house stairs Mason let me take over his room since his room is on the top floor where the kids bathroom and kitchen are. But this got boring really fast. I was all by myself while everyone was in the living room. So Mike brought the bed out to the living room so I wouldn't be lonely. This helped me so much not get depressed. So for those 2 weeks I watched every Redbox movie PG-13 or lower. Read a book. (A real book). Started a journal. And done a lot of online shopping. 

-Groceries via Amazon. Toliet paper being delivered to our door is the best thing Amazon could have done for us.
-Found my birthday gift (a jacket) that I can't wear until I'm out of my brace. 

-Purchased a free dress thanks to kmart points.

-Ordered a free photo book of my instagrams.

- Oh and I finally had the time to order masons bedding. Poor kid has had a queen size bed since last summer and has not had a sheet for his bed. So I found a great manly comforter and sheet set from Target. 

Mike has worked himself exhausted. He has fixed the dryer, ceiling fan, washer, did an oil change, cooked 7 dinners, opened the door 14 times for the relief society's dinners, submitted school papers, worked a 40 hour week, took all 4 kids to church, played with our kids, did laundry, hung up our clothes, and served me all the while while I watched Drop Dead Diva. 

And still had time and energy to make me laugh. He invented walker exercise. 

He's such a champ while I'm such a chump. He tells me to be easy on myself and I try but sometimes it's hard.

Our kids are so sweet and helpful. They don't mind going up and down our stairs dozen of times when I forget something on another level of the house.

They have read to me so many stories when I was in so much pain that I needed a distraction. Lily particularly has loved reading me Stuart little. 

They helped mike get a good nights sleep. Since he has had so much on his plate he's walking exhausted. And since I was stuck in bed he tried to sleep next to me but was so scared he'd touch my back that he'd sleep on the couch. 

He hates the couch. 

So our kids each volunteered to sleep on the couch to help me if I needed assistance during the night. Either with something I needed ie water, pills or just to wake up mike. They figured out the schedule which really helped mike get a good nights sleep. 
Plus it was nice to spend some one on one time with each kid watching a movie, talking or listening to them make up a story. 

So fast forward to the end of last week. I started to feel much better. I started walking around the top floor of our house without a walker. I sat up in bed without assistance. I could put my brace on myself. I cooked ramen for my kids. Plus Mike put Mason's bed back in his room and I started walking slowly downstairs to our room. It's so nice to sleep in my nice king size pillowtop bed again. 

I went to the doctors monday and he says my back looks great for being broken. That it looks exactly how it did on Christmas Eve. I admit I was expecting more than this. Since I've been feeling better I thought that he'd say my back is almost done healing. Wrong! 
So this set me back mentally. But my doctor says that my broke bone pieces are all in the right places so when they do "glue" back things will be in the right spot. I know he's just trying to give me a silver lining... I guess I'll just take it.

So I'm back to sitting or laying down. Staying in the brace all day long. But I have taken small steps in gaining my independence back. I can shower myself. Walk up and down the stairs. Cook. Get dress. Go to the bathroom myself. 
Granted I'm slow.... Like really slow but that's ok. I'm happy I'm doing it.

I even went shopping. I was going crazy being in this house so mike took me to target to get groceries. I drove one of those motorized carts which was fun but dangerous. I kept crashing into things likes carts, shelves, etc that i came home in more pain than usual. 

My latest goal is to get off my pain medicine. My doctor prescribed me Percocet for pain. But knowing how additive these pills are I want to get off of them ASAP. Plus once I'm off of them I can drive again. So I use to take 1
pill every 4 hours. Then moved it to 1 pill every 6 hours. I'm at half a pill every 8 hours. But since I'm still in lots of pain I'm taking Tylenol to help. And it does help a lot so I'm thinking my goal of being completely off Percocet will be soon. But I noticed one day when I didn't take any Percocet that I got the jitters. I'm not sure if it's a side effect from the drug or from withdraw but that day freaked me out. Mike says it's withdraw. He's seen and experienced it before so it's best to just keeping cutting my pills smaller and smaller so my body is still getting the pain medication but that I wean off of them slowly instead of cold turkey like I'm use to. ( I don't have an additive personally so when I quit something I just stop... But not these- my body got hooked.) 

This is where I'm at:
wake up in pain. Everyday. 

I take my Tylenol and wait for it to kick in so I lay in bed for a little bit longer. Usually with Ducati since everyone else is stil asleep.

I get dress in leggings and tees because that's the only thing comfortable right now.

I smile and laugh with my kids. 

I write in my journal.

I watch my kids do their chores.

I pin the crap out of Pinterest. 

I make lunch for my kids. Hot pockets thanks to Smiths 99 cent sale.

I text mike while he's at work letting him know I'm good so he's not wondering how I'm doing.

I teach my kids the difference between hail and sleet.

I read a few motivational quotes to help me get past the pain.

I read a story to Ducati. 

I quiz Hailey on her multiplication. 

I cheat on the quiz with my phone calculator since I can't remember my 12's.

I grade Mason's rough draft of his personal narrative. 

I kick myself for not paying more attention to my sons point of view.

I count the minutes to my next tylenol. 

I count the minutes til mike will be home.

I get my hug after everyone else rushes to him since I sit and wait on the couch for him to reach me.

I thank him for his compliment on how I look great in my newest combo of tees/leggings.

He makes tacos or French toast since this is all he knows how to cook.

I'm in pain from walking around earlier that morning. 

The brace is bugging me so much I losen it for a minute before mike stares at me and I refasten it. 

We read scriptures as a family. 

Our kids take showers while Mike and I watch an episode of The Office on Netflix.

Everyone kneels while I sit on our couch to say our good night prayers.

I want a new couch at this point from making butt prints in it all day. 

I dislike this but it's where I am right now. But I know I can do hard things so I will. 

Friday, January 1, 2016

One week

Yesterday i celebrated my one week-a-versary of breaking my back. During this week of being bed bound I've had a lot of time on my hands. I've gone through my stages of grief. Thank goodness that is over. (Or at least mostly over.)
But I've allow the fact that The Lord loves me and he's given me this time to remind me. 
I wasn't listening to him due to my overly loud ego that was hurt along with my back. And this pain can turn my attention into tunnel vision.
But I'm so thankful for his other children who have helped deliver his message to me.

I've had an overwhelming amounts of calls,texts, and messages from people sending me encouraging words. 

I've had a friend drive 45 minutes to visit me and shared with me some of her essential oils that have helped dull  my pain. 

I've had families from my neighborhood cook dinner every night for my family which has helped mike not have to learn how to cook. One less burden for him.

I've been able to walk a little with my walker. 

I've had a stranger who has never met me nor my family deliver an amazing meal to us just because she heard what happened to me from another person.

I've been blessed with wonderful sister in laws who have taken my girls and cared for them better than I ever could. (Lily wants me to go to a Zumba class next time)

My mother in law brought us groceries so mike wouldn't have to leave me longer than necessary. 

I've been able to push back my pain medications a little at time. The pain is there; it's not going anywhere but i can do hard things. 

I know that God answers my prayers in his time. But when many people pray and come together to knock on his door he answers faster. And he has.