Monday, April 20, 2015

Fight The New Drug

Last night for Family Home Evening we had first of many talks about pornography. 
I've been putting it off for some time now feeling that our kids are too young, especially Lily and Ducati, but I kept feeling prompted that I needed to do this. That we needed to talk to them about it. So I finally rolled up my sleeves and did it. 

 I ordered this booklet from which gave some great pointers.

So after dinner we sat everyone down and  Mike and I talked about sex. 

The sacredness of sex between marriage. 

How Adam and Eve found out they were naked and sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. 
Which lead into Satan "Ok'ing" immodesty. 

How babies are produced slightly. How they are made from sperm and an egg but not how they come out since they already know this.

Where to find pornography.

What pornography looks like from mild to extreme

The science fact that your brain only allows a 3 second window to make a decision to watch or run before their brain starts to physically change. Your brain will start to rewire itself into thinking that what is being viewed is what love, intimacy, and relationships are all about. 

We talked about the harmful effects of  what happens to a persons brain if porn is viewed again and again. That this road is called addiction. 

How the feeling of love will be distorted and love making will not exist in their marriages

How some marriages will lead to divorce. Which can also lead to child custody, two households, etc. Mason and Hailey related to this part since living in 2 different households has caused them some stress.

But most importantly how to repent if pornography is ever viewed. That through Christ's atonement he made it possible to be given a fresh slate if we ask for it. 

 Even though there was giggles and some blushing Mike and I push forward and opened those lines of communication. I will admit I felt embarrased when our kids asked us, "Do you have sex since you're married?"..... An awkward silence hung over me.  But I know that I need to be 100% honest with my kids so they can trust me to tell them the truth. So I......WE....had to answer that question :)

But through all of this I am thankful we did this. Afterwards in private some of our kids and told us how they have seen things like what we describe during our FHE while on the internet. There was no shame given to them; only love and forgiveness. 
Of course afterwards, once everyone was in bed, we updated our filters, put time blockers, and website blockers, etc on all our computers. 

 Mike and I fought this fight when we were getting help for this addiction. We know the harmful effects it brings into relationships. So I'm glad we did this. We know there is no age too young to start talking about the harms of pornography. We're standing together as a family to keep this drug out of our lives.